I didn’t know what I was going to blog about this morning, then I saw this on Lucretia Pruitt’s Facebook page. I want you to watch it all. Trust me, it’s so entertaining you won’t even notice it’s a bit long.

Impersonations by Kevin Spacey (Inside the Actor’s Studio)

It’s no secret that Kevin Spacey is one of the best actors of our time. Not convinced? Well, if you haven’t seen The Usual Suspects, The Shipping News, American Beauty, or any of the other 60-some-odd films he’s been in, then you need to. Then come back and tell me he’s not one of the greats. Not only that, but as you’ve seen above (you did watch the video, right?), Mr. Spacey is also extraordinarily talented at impersonations. But don’t get too hung up on his ability to change his voice to match Clint Eastwood, Marlon Brando, and yes, Katharine Hepburn, because there’s so, so much more to it than that. What makes Kevin Spacey such a great actor is his absolute attention to detail.

Don’t just do. Be. Go back and watch a bit of the video again if you need to. You’ll notice something interesting. You see Kevin just being Kevin, smiling, laughing, and blushing Then suddenly, host James Lipton asks Jimmy Stewart a question and there is a sudden shift. Kevin isn’t just preparing to talk like Jimmy Stewart – he becomes Jimmy Stewart. His body position changes. He starts to move his hands a certain way. He somehow shape-shifts parts of his face to be more “Jimmy”. He’s Jimmy, before a word even comes out of his mouth. Then, when he does speak, he answers the question, not as “Kevin Spacey doing Jimmy Stewart”, but as Jimmy Stewart would have answered the question.

It’s this fine attention to detail that is so impressive. There’s no doubt that Mr. Spacey has spent countless hours watching his fellow actors, studying, in detail, the precise habits, mannerisms, intonations, and expressions they use. Then, he probably spent countless more hours in front of a mirror, perfecting his impersonation. Sure, talent has some to do with it – the guy’s most certainly got an aptitude for this whole acting thing. But attention to detail is what wins him the fans. He’s not just “doing” acting. He’s “becoming” his characters. Big difference.

Are you doing, or being? As you go through your days, are you just floating from one task to the next, doing this, finishing that, so that at the end of the day you look back and can’t really see what you’ve accomplished? Or are you being your work? Are you getting into the finer details of the things you’re doing, and really studying? If you start to pay attention to the fine details of what is in front of you, something amazing will happen. You’ll notice different things. You’ll see how all the little pieces fit together to make the whole. You’ll be able to read between the lines, and your end result will be much, much better quality. Be present with your work, and focus on the detail of it, until you get it right.

Make it look easy. Kevin Spacey makes acting look easy. In that video, he shifts seamlessly from Kevin to character and back again. He brings all the pieces together – body language, humour, expressions, tone of voice – and the complete package is presented flawlessly. But at the end of the video, you see Kevin do something, even though it’s sort of in a joking way. He fans himself, says “whew”, pretends to look worn out by this ordeal of having to play so many characters at once.

It is not easy to do what he did in that clip. It takes crazy amounts of concentration, confidence, experience, and wit – more than most people have. I can bet that it would take a lot out of a performer to have to perform on the spot like that. But Kevin’s a details man, and he’s not about to let the minutiae slide, that’s for sure. He’s practiced, prepared, and paid attention to detail, and he makes it look easy.

Are you a teacher? A public speaker? A musician? A consultant? Your goal should be to make what you do look easy, even though people know it’s hard. And that takes an absolute dedication to detail. It takes practice and knowledge and comfort with your subject matter. When you make things look easy, you’re not trying to show people that things ARE easy. You’re showing that you’ve mastered something, and if you’re a master, people will want to see more. Maybe they will even want to hire you for what you know how to do.

Making something look easy is hard, and it takes lots of practice and a bit of talent and oodles of time. But focus your energies on working hard at making it look easy, and people will start to respond. Remember, most people just see the easy. Details people see what it takes to get there.

How much are you paying attention to the fine details of things? Are you reading between the lines? Studying, re-reading, preparing, practicing? Or are you just going with the flow and stopping when something is “good enough”? I know I’d rather see Kevin Spacey do a remarkable impersonation of Johnny Carson than one that’s just “good enough”. Wouldn’t you? Then why would we ever expect just “good enough” out of ourselves?

Perhaps we should all try to be a little more Kevin Spacey.

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Many an article is written on the topic of focus. People tell you that in order to meet your goals, you must push everything away that can distract you. You must focus on that one thing, until you achieve it – otherwise you run the risk of not accomplishing anything at all.

I think that’s a load of hooey.

The more you do, the more you know. I am a voracious learner. I’m curious to the nth degree, and I get very frustrated when I don’t understand things. So the only way I can find peace is to try and figure it out. Thank goodness for Google.

Because of my innate curiosity, I end up involving myself in a lot of things I would not otherwise be involved in. Curiosity is the reason I ended up going back to school to learn about new media in 1997. Suddenly, it became my career. Curiosity made me want to get into teaching – after all, in order to teach something, I had to learn it first. What better way to understand things than to have to explain them to someone else, right?

My curiosity makes me take on lots of new things, and sometimes, those new things become opportunities. So do a lot. Be curious a lot. And before you know it, doors will start to open.

Overdo it! Come on! I dare ya! I am the type of person that likes to be involved in a hundred things at once. I come by it honestly. When I was growing up, my parents were always doing a million things. They worked full time, raised two kids, were gardeners, and were two of the most active people in their community. They were always on organizing committees to plan events and fundraisers for our town, were heavily involved in social events on the military base, and then in his “spare” time, my Dad helped build a TV station. Did I mention they both worked full time, and still had plenty of time left over to spend with us kids?

I often hear people say things like “Don’t bite off more than you can chew!” and “Don’t stretch yourself too thin!”.  Now, I’m not advocating spending every waking moment running around, being involved, working on this and that. There has to be a balance, and everyone’s limit is different. But I think that many people are so afraid of over-committing themselves that they end up not committing to anything. Instead, they wind up on the sofa watching reruns of LOST 6 hours a day, wondering where the time goes and why everyone else seems to be getting all the good stuff.

I encourage you to take a good hard look at how you spend your days. Sure, you may have three kids, two dogs, and a mother-in-law. But I bet that even with all that going on you can find 1 hour a day (doesn’t have to be consecutive!), to carve out some time to at least THINK about a project or two that interests you. Maybe you even talk to a friend or colleague that might want to work on your projects with you.

Find the time MAKE the time to work on stuff. Inject it into your day. Sitting at the coffee shop with a sleeping 6 month old? That’s plenty of time to learn something new, jot down some ideas, or GChat with a friend about your idea. Walking the dog? Why listen to Christina Aguilera for the thousandth time, when you can be catching up on interesting podcasts or taking a course at iTunesU?

We all have more time than we think we do. We all have some room to commit to new things. You just have to figure out how to work it in with the rest of your life.

But what about focus? Oh yes, we were talking about focus. Sorry, I got distracted.

Here’s what I’ve been wondering about the past few days. I’m involved in more things right now than I’ve ever been involved in before. My company has just started a bunch of great new projects. I’m gearing up for another semester of teaching at Algonquin College, and I’m also designing an online course in Digital Communication for this program. I’m working on a couple of speaking engagements this Fall. I’m heavily involved in the creation of SAW Video’s new web site. We’re in pre-production for Season 3 of The House Healers. I even have a couple of secret projects on the go in the background. All that…AND, I still spend plenty of quality time with hubby and the rest of the family, my friends, and occasionally find some time for just me. I sleep 6-8 hours a night. I watch maybe 2 hours of TV a week. Balance.

Some people might argue that I don’t have any focus, and that it’s dangerous to be so “all over the place”. But if that’s the case, then why do I feel like I have more clarity than ever before? My good friend and mentor Andre nailed it the other day, when he said to me, “You have clarity, because you are doing what you should be doing. You’re finding all kinds of ways to create and deliver content. It may seem like you’re all over the place, but in fact, you’re doing one thing well. You’ve just found lots of different ways to do it.” I think he’s bang on.

So, I challenge you…forget focusing on one thing. Focus on everything you care about. The secret is to not get overwhelmed, and to chip away at everything as it comes. You’ll find that when you’re focusing on doing everything you love, it all becomes crystal clear.

Oh, and while you’re busy focusing on everything? Here are some great tips from Lifehacker on how to train your brain to be less distracted. Hat tip to my friends Randy Matheson and Stacerella for focusing long enough to point out the article to me.

[photo credit: Philo.cn on Flickr]

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On an average day, I probably skim through about 200 web sites. Most of these I subscribe to in my Google Reader, so that I can quickly scan the headlines and in some cases, the first bits of content for items of interest. Of those 200 items, I probably scan the body content of about 75. Of those 75, I probably read between 15 and 25. Of those, I probably am compelled to comment on 2-10 items.

We all want to figure out the secret sauce for getting more traffic to our content. The problem with only counting page views is, just because someone lands on a page of our site, doesn’t mean they are reading everything. They could be just like me – skimming for something interesting. If they don’t find it, they move on. That’s why I believe the more important things to track are comments, re-posts/shares, inbound links, and bounce rate. Those are not guarantees that people are reading, but they are a lot more reliable gauges than page views alone.

So how do we encourage people to actually READ and LEARN from what we are offering? How do we compel our readers to ACT upon what we’ve shown them – whether it’s to change a behaviour, or buy a product we are selling? I’ve broken it down to one simple concept.

Tell a great story.

Once upon a time I wanted you to buy my stuff. One of the biggest mistakes that people make online is they move to the sales pitch too fast. I like how Chris describes it – “I’m reaching out to shake your hand and you’re trying to put your tongue in my mouth.” If your blog post is entirely made up of you talking about how important you are and why everyone loves you and how much people pay you to do things, I’m moving on. I might even unsubscribe. If, the very first time I hit your web site, I see your squeeze page asking me to give you my email address or buy your $50 e-Book or $500 workshop, I’m outta there. For Pete’s sake, I don’t even know you yet!

Look. We all want to build our businesses. We all want to get to the end goal, being profitable, as quickly as possible. Many people are desperate – they’ve given up everything to start their companies, and now the cash flow isn’t there. The problem is, real sales takes time. People have to get to know you, trust you. They want to make sure they are getting something of value in return if they are going to give you some of their hard earned cash. It’s only fair that we respect that and be patient with our prospects.

And you’re right – it totally sucks having to be patient.

But rather than sitting around doing nothing, wondering why your hard-sell pitches aren’t working, why not focus on building up the reasons why people should want to be involved with you? Why not work on telling a better story about yourself?

My mind is a blank slate. Have you ever tried to write your own bio? It’s hard, eh? Difficult as it is, I think that anyone who wants to create content online MUST start by putting together their bio. Writing about yourself is a really great way to start to understand what you’re all about. And understanding what you’re all about is key to telling a great story. It’s a good idea to have someone else to help you with the bio. Ask them to interview you, or simply send them a draft that they can give you feedback on. Often, we are too modest when writing about ourselves, so our bios sound just like everyone else’s. But just going through the process of writing a bio can help you to understand a bit more about yourself, and getting someone else’s take can make you realize what you do and what you know that is of real value.

Once you understand more about who you are and what you have to offer, you can start to build stories around that.

Let’s say your background is in the telecommunications industry. You worked for 10 years with various major telcos, and this has given you a great understanding of how big companies work. You were a team leader there, so you have lots of insight into team building, empowerment, and creating successful collaborations. You were also there during the boom years AND the bust years of high tech, so you know all about how cutbacks can affect morale, and you’re an expert on survivor guilt.

How many story ideas are there in that last paragraph? Count them.

Write your bio. Then write a list of stories you can tell that relate to your experience. Start publishing those stories. And remember, if writing isn’t your bag, you don’t have to write. Grab a web cam, record your thoughts on video and put them up on YouTube. Get a portable audio recorder, create an audio podcast. Sure, you might feel weird at first, but with practice, you’ll get more comfortable, I promise.

Every piece of content that exists in the world is a story. In order to create great content, you have to be able to find the story in everything you do. Then, you have to sit your butt in the chair and express it.

Build stories and share. Build stories, and share.

I bet that before you know it, opportunities will be pouring in from people who want to hear more of your story. Sounds like a much more enjoyable way to make a living, don’t you think?

By the way – there are 8 story ideas in that paragraph. Did you find them all?

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I’m witnessing such an influx these days of “Learn how to Tweet” courses, and “Use Facebook to Win Clients and Influence People” workshops. It’s got me quite frustrated. I’m also growing weary of the “Want to Pick My Brain? That will be $400,000 a day!” conversation.

I’m afraid we’re moving away from the things we should be focusing on in order to be successful (and help our clients be successful) in the world of online communication. We’re focused on money and tools again.

We need to focus on the people.

Take me to the common ground. It’s a little known fact, that in my spare time, I study World Religions. I’ve always had a fascination for different faiths and cultures, but what I’m most into is looking at religion as a whole, and finding the common threads through them, and how those commonalities play themselves out in teachings, belief structure and ritual. I’m far from a scholar on this subject, though if I ever decide to go to university, this is what I’ll study.

One of the commonalities of all religions is compassion. The Buddha defined compassion and presence. Jesus was compassion personified, and he did his best to teach others too. Compassion is also a central part of the Muslim and Jewish faiths. Most people are taught compassion from a very young age, through their family’s faith system. Even those that are not brought up in a religious household are able to pick things up from their teachers, and hopefully their family members.

So it stands to reason that most of us should understand, and practice compassion without too much trouble, right? Sure, we try, but I don’t think that we’re always succeeding at being compassionate.

True compassion is not easy. It’s not hard to pat a friend on the back when he’s having a bad day. But to do it with genuine compassion? That can take a lot out of you. Because being genuinely compassionate means seeing the situation from somebody else’s point of view – and that can be painful. It can be hard for us to face our own problems on a daily basis, let alone others’!

So I think that the average person, when faced with being truly compassionate, will pick and choose their battles carefully. They’ll take on the burden of pain for their children, or their spouse, or their immediate family. But when it comes to other friends, colleagues, or especially people we interact with online? Much, much harder.

Here’s the thing though. Being truly compassionate is one of the primary ways to develop trust within your networks. And the first key to cultivating compassion is to be a really, really good listener. And isn’t that what we’re all saying about building social media strategies? Listen first?

Here’s the difference between “listening” and “listening compassionately”. Listening is about searching for keywords, finding people who are talking about the thing you’re interested in, and monitoring until someone says the right thing at the right moment, so you can pounce. Listening compassionately is not only about finding those conversations, but listening to what people are really talking about. Don’t just search for a keyword. Read what’s being said. Understand what problems exist. Ask relevant questions. Get involved in the emotion and passion of what other people care about. Only with a compassionate ear, will you be able to get to the heart of matters, and then figure out how what you offer, or sell, or want to market can help.

The pleasant side effect of this approach is, it takes time to listen compassionately. So, you’re not jumping in to the conversation right away, offering a solution, or shilling your wares (which never works). You’re taking time to hear other people out, to ask them questions, to get to know them – to develop a relationship based on trust, and…you guessed it! Compassion.

A lot of people won’t bother with the compassionate route. It takes too much time. It can be emotionally draining. So, the very nature of being compassionate gives you a strategic advantage.

Compassion is hard work, but it’s far from draining. I have no trouble getting to sleep at night because I’m feeding off the emotion and energy of the people I’m working with – online and off. I’m giving so much of myself, but in return I’m getting so much back. And because of this exchange of energy, my business is thriving and my personal relationships are strong.

And isn’t exchange of energy and compassion what life is all about?

On The Dalai Lama’s Facebook page this morning, was the following quote:

“Some people think that cultivating compassion is good for others but not necessarily good for themselves, but this is wrong. You are the one who benefits most directly since compassion immediately instills in you a sense of calm, inner strength, and a deep confidence and satisfaction, whereas it is not certain that the object of your feeling of compassion will benefit.”

His Holiness is saying that in fact, cultivating compassion creates a calming force in our life. It’s the ultimate satisfaction, because being compassionate enables us to listen more intently, and speak our minds more clearly – even if we’re not certain our energy will be understood or reciprocated. Compassion is selfless, but the irony is, it actually benefits us first.

Be a better communicator – just by cultivating compassion. Kinds makes sense, eh?

[photo credit: Jesslee Cuizon on Flickr]

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In case you’re just tuning in, here’s what happened the other day.

Flash forward, 5:30pm today. I delicately removed my formerly soaked iPhone from its cozy rice bath, where it had spent the past 48 hours or so. I ever so carefully plugged it in.

Nothing happened.

Then, the faintest glow, of the battery recharge symbol. 15 seconds….30 seconds….45 seconds…

And there it was. The Apple logo, bright and clear as the day I got the phone and turned it on for the first time. 30 seconds….50 seconds…1 minute 20 seconds.

Home screen.

Amazing! Outstanding! Marvelous! The rice bath worked. It really, really worked! My husband is a genius!!!

As for my life without my precious mobile device the past two days? Not so bad.

Did I feel disconnected? Sure I did. Did the world end? Of course it didn’t. Did my productivity go down? Marginally.

The truth is though, I’m glad to have my technology back.

Does it seem ridiculous to you that I’m even writing this? After all, what’s the big deal? It’s just a tool. And as I’ve said before, it’s not about the tools. To some of you, it probably seems sort of silly that I’m putting so much emphasis on this event.

In the end, of course I could live without my technology. We all could.

What I do know is, I choose not to live without it. Because it adds a dimension of productivity, and connection, and fun to my work and my play. And I’m grateful that I get to have access to these wonderful tools.

And I’m not about to give it up any time soon.

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This is a true story.

Last night, I was in the bathroom. I washed my hands, then leaned over the (yes, it was clean!) toilet to grab a Kleenex. In one fell swoop, my iPhone slid from the pocket of my hoodie and…..kerplop. Yes. Ker. Plop.

I panicked, grabbed the sopping wet phone from the water (did I mention, the toilet was CLEAN??). I dried it off as best I could with a towel. The screen was a dull flicker, from the Apple logo to nothing…Apple logo…nothing. Now, before the incident, the phone itself was completely dead – the battery had just died and I was on my way to plug it in to the charger for the night. So, at this time I have no way of knowing if it’s going to be okay or not.

I’m slightly reassured by a similar incident that happened to a friend last week, where her iPhone ended up running through an entire washing machine cycle, and came out totally, totally fine. My hubby immediately went online to try and find out what we could do. As a result, my iPhone is currently getting a 48 hour rice bath, and I’m crossing my fingers.

But here’s the interesting part.

I’m more upset than I thought I’d be.

It’s not the phone itself that I’m grieving. What’s causing my emotional distress is what the phone does for me.

That device is my phone, yes, but that’s the part I use the least. It’s also my Email on the road, my To Do list, Calendar, Weather Map, Daily News, Text Messaging service, and myriad other useful things. My mobile device is fully integrated into my life. Some things are a comfortable habit – I have a wake up routine, where I pick up my phone, and, still in bed, read the news, and if I’m not feeling like getting up right away, maybe I check Twitter, Email, Facebook and the like.

This morning, I reached over, and my phone wasn’t there. So I just got out of bed. It felt a bit weird. I’m sure as I go through the day today, I’ll reach for it some more. Instead of checking my phone when I’m waiting in line at the coffee shop, I’ll have to do something else. Instead of replying to emails while I’m out and about today, I’ll have to wait till I get home to my computer.

Now, there is a certain segment of the population who will probably tell me all that is a good thing. We’re too attached to our technology anyway. We don’t have to be “on” 24/7. But here’s the thing. Having a mobile device with me as I go through my day makes me much more productive. I’m tracking tasks, scheduling appointments, replying to emails, communicating via text with my team, and keeping up on the days’ events all while I am on the go. I steal moments here and there to do these things, so nothing piles up. As a result, my inbox is always relatively clear, and my schedule is always relatively sane.

What I’m worried about (particularly if the rice bath doesn’t work and I have to go shopping for a new smart phone) is that the failure of my technology is going to cause my systems to fail too. That what’s already going to be a busy and stressful week will be made more so because I can’t manage my information on the fly.

Then again..maybe it will teach me some new ways of doing things.

I’m not upset about my phone. That’s just a thing, and things can be replaced. I’m upset about the impact it has on my systems. But, because I always try to see the positive side of any situation, I’m going to look at this as an experiment – to see if I can improve my systems, by having them ripped out from under me.

And, in the meantime, I have this very cute little retro Motorola V300 that my husband found laying around. I’ve decided I’m going to choose the cheesiest ring tone available, and hope that lots of people call me, just so I can feel all 2005. I’ll have the sheer, er….joy of typing text messages on a 10 button phone pad again.

You know what? At least I still have a phone, and at least I have text messages. Those systems are intact. We’ll see about the rest after a few days.

Wish me luck!

UPDATE: The Motorola phone has seen better days. So, my business partner is kindly lending me her old BlackBerry Pearl to use in the meantime. Feeling a little better that at least I’ll have email on the go. And a QWERTY keyboard.

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Molly Murphy

My, my, but we’re a serious bunch.

This post is inspired by a YouTube video that my Twitter buddy Geoff Livingston posted recently. The video is called “20 Silly Twitter Remarks” and if you want a good chuckle, take 3 minutes and watch it. As I was watching, two thoughts occurred to me. First, for someone who isn’t on Twitter, these comments would probably seem even more absurd. Second, for the people who said those things (no attribution was given, but a few were recognizable to me), one of two things will happen. Either they’ll laugh right along with everyone else, or they’ll freak out, and get all hot under the collar about the fact that someone’s poking fun at them. I hope it’s the former, I really do. But past history of posts such as this dictates that someone is bound to get their knickers in a twist. I hope I’m wrong. Kudos to Geoff for being so darn funny and entertaining on camera. I hope he does many more like this.

Business on the Sides, Party at the Back. Ahhh, the mullet - signature hairstyle of the average dude in the 70s and 80s. You had one. C’mon. Admit it. (I may have even had one for a while, but let’s not go there!) My theory as to why the mullet became popular was because it was deemed “acceptable” in the workplace. Companies didn’t want any long-haired hippies wandering around, so men started to chop the front of their hair short, to look more professional, but they left the back long to show that they still had a less serious, wild streak.

The ability to genuinely laugh at oneself is charming, endearing, and sexy. But I think that often, especially in the online world, we’re trying SO HARD to exude a certain type of “personal brand”, that we forget that it’s okay to be silly once in a while. It’s okay to poke fun at ourselves, and even sometimes at those we respect (as long as it’s not hurtful). Remember when you were a kid, and that girl or boy on the playground would tease you incessantly? You’d go home and cry to your Mom about it, and she’d say “Oh, that means he/she likes you!”. Most of the time, that’s true. If someone teases you, it’s often a show of respect and admiration. Take it as a compliment. Of course, then tease them right back, to show that you love them too!

So, sometimes, be a little less business, and a little more party. You’ll probably make some new friends, and for sure, you’ll have a lot more fun.

Nobody Cares What You’re Having For Lunch. Or do they? I had conversation with a colleague the other day about Twitter. He is still working on figuring Twitter out, understanding how it fits into his day-to-day life, and how it can benefit his business. He told me that he had some reservations about being too “personal” in the social space, but at the same time he wanted to ensure he wasn’t just being that guy pushing his links out and not interacting. He was a bit stumped as to what he was supposed to be talking about. I said “Tell ‘em what you had for lunch!” Naturally, he looked at me like I had three heads.

Lots of “social media experts” will tell you that you shouldn’t talk about what you had for lunch on Twitter, because nobody cares. You shouldn’t post pictures of your cats – you’ll look like that crazy cat lady. And you shouldn’t goof off – people will think you’re not working hard enough.

I guess I’m doing it wrong.

I tell people what I have for lunch. Not every day, but often. What’s that gotten me? Ideas for recipes, which is great because I love to cook. Connections and friendships with talented foodies from all over, like my friends Don and Jenn from FoodiePrints, which is great because I love to talk about food. And, I’m doing Weight Watchers, so it’s tapped me into a very supportive Twitter community and we’re helping each other meet our weight loss goals. All this, from telling people what I had for lunch.

I post pictures of my cats. Not every day, but often. What’s that gotten me? Well, I don’t have human children, so my pets are my kids. They are one of the most important parts of my life, just like your kids are. When they do something cute or funny, I want to share that with my friends, just like you want to share memories of your human kids. Lots of people seem to enjoy my pictures, and we have many fun conversations about it. My pet pictures have connected me to people who are now my clients. So I suppose I should thank my cats for being so darn cute, eh?

I goof off. One day, a couple of months back, I was taking a break from work (yes, I do that occasionally), and I was poking around on Twitter. I realized that I had 4997 followers. Now, before you start talking to me about how follower numbers aren’t important, blah dee blah – this is about FUN. I thought it would be fun to offer a special surprise for my 5000th follower, so I suggested that maybe I’d write a song. The campaign started, and while I waited for my 5000th follower to show up, I wrote this. When @MCouto finally did come along, I posted the song. People got a good laugh. Then I went on with my day. What did this get me? Well, a new buddy in @MCouto, A.K.A “Follower 5000″. And I’ve met others because I follow him. The pay off? Purely social. But purely fun.

Social media is not all business, all the time. It’s okay to use the forum to just have some fun. Share some snippets of your life, even if it’s the view out the window of the coffee shop, or off the end of the dock at your cottage. Goof off sometimes, tease the people you love a bit, or just send a hug to a friend having a bad day. You want to enhance your personal brand? Don’t try to “be” a persona. Just be you – the same you that you’d be if I was meeting you in person.

How are you going to have a little more fun online?

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Wow.

Suddenly all anyone seems to be talking about in the social media world is influence. Tools like Klout, a system that uses some sort of complex calculation to say how influential you are on Twitter, are rising to popularity. Now, social media dashboard app HootSuite has jumped on the bandwagon too, posting Twitter users’ Klout score when you click on a profile. The @oldspice guy is even in there, posting personalized videos to “influential” Twitterers (and others too, admittedly, but c’mon…who do you think they were really targeting with those videos?).

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Sure. I looked at my Klout score. It’s 53. I have no idea what that means. I don’t really care, either. But I can assure you, there are people, right now, breezing around their HootSuite dashboard, clicking on everyone’s names, and filtering anyone with a score of 60 or higher into a special list called “influencers”.

Then, once they have their precious list of Twitter Super Powers, they’ll begin to spend their days trying to figure out how to get those peoples’ attention. Because wow – if only I could get @kevinrose to retweet my article about the iPhone 4 antenna….then, I will have arrived!

You’ve got to be kidding me some more.

All the cool kids are doing it. You see, the problem is, people are confusing “influence” with “popularity”. Sure, if Kevin Rose retweets your link, you’ll probably get an awful lot of hits on your post. You wrote a great tech post, he’s a tech guy, and lots of people that follow Kevin trust him when he recommends something. Does that mean he’s influential? Sure it does. But that’s about where it stops. It’s wonderful that you got so many people hitting your blog. It’s great that you earned a few new followers. But once the initial spike happens, it will just settle out. Just because you got 500 reads on your post doesn’t mean you’re going to get 500 reads every day from here on in. Trust me, it simply doesn’t work like that.

People who consistently have high traffic and a dedicated audience have built that over time – by providing consistently stellar content, but more importantly, by taking the time to be an active part of the community which they serve. They have nurtured their readership. They aren’t relying on the popular kids to get the word out. They are working really, really hard to show people the value in their content – all by themselves.

Return on Eyeballs is more important than Return on Influence. Last year, I posted on this blog about a concept that I think is, unfortunately, going by the wayside. It’s called “Return on Eyeballs”. The idea is, it’s not about targeting your stuff to people who are influential. It’s about targeting your stuff to people who are interested. It’s not about how many people see what you’ve done – it’s about WHO sees it.

In that post, I used an example of someone who makes custom baseball bats. Sure, they can get a bit of attention by promoting to so-called “influencers”, if their idea is clever and good, but again, that’s fleeting. They will have far more long-term success by focusing on building a dedicated community of interest than trying to get the attention of the popular set. With some hard work in the right areas, the right opportunity may serendipitously (or intentionally) come along. In my hypothetical example, I suggested that maybe baseball bat guy gets noticed by the equipment manager of a major league baseball team. They sign a contract and bat guy’s business booms. Does the equipment manager, in this case, have influence? Sure he does. He influenced his boss to contract the bat maker.

But the equipment manager’s Klout score is only 16! He doesn’t have any influence!

See how silly this is?

How about we forget about all these ridiculous numbering schemes? How about we stop confusing influence with being one of the popular kids?

How about we focus on building up our own communities, with our own people, and our own set of influencers who are actually influential, instead of just being the ones with the biggest following, or the loudest voice? Yes, it will take time. Yes, it will take work. But ultimately, everyone will be better off, don’t you think?

(Oh, and as for Old Spice guy? I think the campaign is brilliant. But keep in mind, their strategy of targeting popular (or in their words, “influential”) Twitter people only works because they are a well known brand. I have a feeling Allysa Milano wouldn’t have given a rat’s butt if Mr. No Name made a video about her.)

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Oh, how we love our buzzwords, eh?

My head is spinning lately, and unfortunately it’s not with great stuff. It’s with frustration, distrust, and apathy. Those are heavy words, I know – but I’m feeling them.

How I do love these social media. I really do. Connections I’ve made on Twitter, Facebook, through my blog and by attending valuable events like Podcamps and PAB have literally changed my life. I’m a better writer now. I’m a public speaker. I’m teaching others how to work and play and grow their businesses with digital communications. 3 years ago I’d have thought none of it was possible.

And that’s why I’m so upset by what I’m seeing these days. The proliferation of snake oil salesmen, bad advice, and buzzwords that mean nothing is making me crazy. People are being swindled into paying thousands of dollars to attend conferences so they can be sold more fluffy eBooks and hardcovers. They are being forced to listen to the same presenters drone on about the same old stuff, as if it’s the wisdom of the ages. And people are getting suckered into it left, right and centre.

Be Authentic! Engage with your Customers! Increase your Influence!

Wait…wait. Think about those three words for a minute.

Authenticity. Well, I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, my parents told me over and over again, “Just be yourself, and people will love you!”. If I lied to my parents and they found out – ZAP! No TV for a week. I was encouraged to be authentic, honest and truthful in my interactions. If I wasn’t, there were consequences. Therefore, I grew up being…well….Authentic.

Engagement. Being a military family, we moved around a lot when I was a kid. We were always posted in the summer, so the first step upon moving into a new neighbourhood was that my brother and I would have to go out and meet the other kids. Mom would stealthily identify in advance which houses on our street had kids my age, then she’d give me a gentle shove out the door. “Go to number 45, I think I saw a girl your age over there.”

“But Mom, I don’t want t…”

“Just go knock on the door, dear. They won’t bite!”

I’d suck up my courage and walk down the street and knock ever so quietly on the door. A parent would answer.

“Is your daughter home?”

“She’s in the back yard. Why don’t you go around?”.

I’d wander cautiously into the back yard, walk up to the little girl, and say “Hi, my name is Susan. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I like your Barbies.”, just like my Mom taught me. Say your name, be polite, compliment the other person. Engage with them on their level. Hey – that sounds familiar.

Yep – apparently I learned Engagement when I was 6 years old, too.

Influence. On the playground, we always had to figure out what game we were going to play next. Hide and Seek? Tag? Red Rover? The bigger the group, the harder it was to decide. But, there were always those in the group that seemed to be able to sway our opinions. They’d give compelling reasons like, “Well, there’s 15 of us today, so Red Rover would be the most fun”. Sometimes we’d listen to them because they’d provide a more risky option – one that, if our parents found out, we’d probably get in trouble.

These select few had influence over the group. Why? Well, sometimes they tended to be the older kids, so in our eyes they knew more. But age didn’t always define it. Sometimes the influential ones were just the ones that said stuff that made sense. If we did it their way, we’d for sure have more fun. We’d take a bigger risk. We’d try (and maybe even learn) something new.

Soon, I learned how to come up with creative ideas that would influence the group. I’d voice my opinion, and sometimes, other kids would listen to me too. I may have not been the most popular kid back then, but I discovered I could influence when I wanted to.

So I guess I learned Influence on the playground.

So, if the concepts of Engagement, Authenticity and Influence were learned when we were kids, why are we hanging on the every word of the people who know little, and do nothing but tow the line? Someone telling me that in order to be successful in social media, I need to Engage, be Authentic, and increase my Influence is like someone treating me like I’m 6 years old. And that’s kind of insulting, don’t you think? Can you see why I’m frustrated?

To be human, you need to understand these three concepts. It should go without saying that all of your interactions, online, offline, in person, in social media, writing a letter, going to the post office, visiting your Grandma, should be Authentic, Engaging and Influential. That’s humanity, not social media.

Well, maybe this doesn’t make any sense, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. But before you do that, please watch this 4 minute video from my friend Andrea Ross. Because she is the embodiment of the things we SHOULD be paying attention to when it comes to being successful in this space. Thank you, Andrea, for your thoughts, your wisdom and your inspiration. You’re the real deal.

[photo credit: albyper on Flickr]

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I have a confession to make.

I have a huge, giant crush on Canada. She’s totally my type, in every way. Oh sure, I’m probably a bit biased, but I come by it honestly. I am Canadian, after all. I am extraordinarily lucky that Canada has allowed me to take up space on her for my whole life. She’s really made me feel welcome. And today, being Canada Day, I figured it was high time I tell her how I really feel and why I love her so.

She’s beautiful. I have been blessed to have seen this country from coast to coast to coast. I’ve lived among the totems of Haida Gwaii and in the Land of the Midnight Sun. I’ve been just about as far West as you can go and been to the most Eastern point too. I’ve visited every major city, and just about every province and territory. I’ve driven through the Rocky Mountains, and star gazed in the Big Sky of the Prairies. In each place, I’ve met the most incredible people.

I can tell you, from first hand experience, that this is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I mean, she’s really got it all – trees, mountains, lakes, oceans, cities, towns, and amazing people…my heart beats faster just thinking about it.

She’s generous. I’ve got it pretty good because of Canada. She takes care of my health, provides me with an education, and gives me choices – I can pick what I do for a living, in which city or town I reside, what kind of house I live in, and what sort of food I eat. Because I live in this great country, I am given the freedom of choice in how I live my life. Like my friend Scarborough Dude says in his latest podcast, we’re not the norm. So, I need to be grateful to Canada a little more often, for what she provides for me.

She’s free. Some people are mad at Canada right now, because some citizens were allegedly mistreated last weekend during the G20 in Toronto. Now, I don’t get into politics very often around here, and I’m not going to get too deep into it now. I agree that if even one person’s human rights are proven to be violated, that’s one person too many. We are lucky to live in a country where our rights are respected. But here’s the thing. Even those we love can make mistakes, and Canada is no exception. If it’s proven that peoples’ rights were violated during the G20, then I have faith in my country that justice will be served. I love Canada, so even though she might screw up sometimes, I have to have faith. That’s what love is about.

Canada IS a free country. Freedom DOES prevail, as long as we stand up for what we believe. We have it really, really good here. You want to know who doesn’t have it good? Google “humanitarian crisis”. I think then, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive Canada a little more easily for her missteps. Be thankful for the freedoms you have. They are the freedoms that our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents fought for, because they loved Canada, with all their hearts. Speak up if you feel you’ve been wronged, because you can. But be grateful that you have the power to do that. Because that’s what living in a free country is about.

Today, I plan to celebrate Canada’s beauty, generosity and freedom with my friends. We’ll wear our red and white, raise a glass, and toast all of the wonderful things that make Canada great.

And if you’re still not convinced how completely awesome Canada is, check out this video. You’ll see….

Happy Canada Day. Bonne Fête du Canada. Celebrate what makes us love her so.

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